BEAUTY FROM ASHES

“Let me tell the tale

Of a girl who didn’t stop,

Who climbed up every mountain

Without a pause upon the top.

She’d dance until each blade of grass

Was clothed in drops of dew, 

And the sun knew her by name 

But the silver moon did too.

For a fear had settled in her bones;

A fear of sitting still,

That if you’re not moving forward

It must mean you never will.

So in time her dance got slower 

And she looked at all she’d seen, 

But found gaps inside the places 

That she’d never fully been, 

For she was a human doing 

Human moving, human seeing,

But she’d never taken time 

To simply be a human being.” —e.h.

“But I’m warning you, be careful of the culture shock you’ll experience when you go back.” When I was told of the culture shock, I honestly did not believe it would be that strong for me. I was wrong. I was so wrong. It hit me extremely hard as soon as I arrived back to the states. I felt disoriented, and felt an unfamiliar feeling of loneliness. I couldn’t grasp why I was feeling this way. It was clear that I had grown accustomed to the culture and way of life of Asia, specifically of Thailand. I was so used to having multiple tasks to complete everyday while I was in Thailand. When I got back, I could feel Hanson’s poem become real for me.

I was fully engrossed in assisting and completing with multiple assignments day in and day out. I wasn’t taking the time to “simply be a human being”. And honestly, I was happy to stay busy. It was a type of busyness that gave me a sense of accomplishment and I was always excited to help out on the next project with STG team. 

It reached such a point that when I got back to the states, I craved that busyness or even perhaps the feeling of being useful. The quietness would make me feel lonely. And it’s true as they say, life in America is a constant “go, go, go”. But for me it was different. I came back to my family and church, for which I’m extremely grateful; yet, the sense of accomplishment was gone. I had no job. I helped out with different tasks at home. But there was still a feeling of uselessness. I was completely disoriented with the culture, lifestyle, time zones, altitudes, etc. 

It was then I realized, this was the time to slow down and breathe. Back in Thailand, it felt wonderful and exciting to get up every morning and see what was in store for that day. There was always a sense of anticipation and excitement of how it would all turn out but there was rarely a time to slow down. As soon as one project was done, the next one would follow. 

Coming back home was definitely a time of reset and recharge for me. The notion of resting felt out of place, yet I realized in the end that it was necessary. If I expected to continue working, whether doing chores in the house, doing ministry at church or starting a new nursing job, I needed to recharge, reset, and rest. I had to rest mentally and physically. It’s so important that we learn to take breaks in between tasks. There’s a wonderful feeling of working and knowing you’re giving your all, but there also has to be a balance. I don’t want to be a “human doing, human moving, human seeing,” never taking the time “to simply be a human being”. 

I encourage you to take the time to “be a human being”. Or should I say, I dare you to try it. 

Stop what you’re doing and look out the window.
Turn off your electronic devices for a few minutes.
Go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air.
Take a small break, go buy your fav ice cream and just. enjoy. the. moment. 

T A K E

T H E

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#reset #recharge #rest #slowdown #liveinthemoment #beahuman #erinhansonpoet #fyp #explorepage

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