BEAUTY FROM ASHES

“Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psa 143:8 (ESV)

As the plane started it’s descension onto the runway, I felt my heart stop. “This is it” I thought to myself, “there’s no turning back now”. If you would have told me as a little girl that I would one day be traveling to a faraway land without a return flight, to become a missionary…I would have laughed at you and probably call it “impossible”.

I remember my pastor’s daughter finishing her RN program and going with her class to Mexico for a couple of weeks to do a missions work. I was so excited for them and in a way, from that moment on, she became one of my role models. I remember writing a prayer in my little pink diary: “Dear Lord, please help me become a missionary doctor, so that I can help others”. I would pray this prayer over and over again, hoping that one day it would become a reality.

Let’s fast-forward a decade. With God’s grace and strength, I was able to finish my LVN program (refer to DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN). I’ve always had a heart for missions and since I was a little girl, it had always been my desire to help others. Towards the end of year 2021, I found myself at a crossroad. We have a couple in our church who are currently missionaries in Thailand. I wanted to further my nursing education and continue on with RN but I was also drawn to the opportunity of helping this missionary couple in Thailand. I started praying for God’s guidance.

“I ignored it and the weeks passed”. 

One Sunday morning, as I walked up the church stairs, I saw them coming in. I was so surprised  and overjoyed to see them back! I immediately felt my heart stir like never before. But, I ignored it and the weeks passed. The feeling kept growing stronger with each day. I thought perhaps it would go away but clearly, God was trying to show me that His will was for me to go with them to Thailand. I started praying harder and asking God for a sign. If the university I had applied to accepted me, then I knew it wasn’t God’s will for me to leave.

My parents and I decided to speak with our pastor. Before even sitting down in his office, the pastor exclaimed, “If you’ve come to tell me that you’re going to Thailand, then you have my blessing.” I was stunned. Did I need a greater sign than that?! God used the pastor to confirm His will. We prayed together and our pastor and his wife poured of their blessings and wisdom. We then spoke with our missionary couple and of course they were more than excited to have me on board. We discussed the many projects they needed help with.

Yet, it seemed that God sensed a little bit of doubt in my heart. I had only told my nurse supervisor that I was leaving soon. On my last day of work, I had another nurse working with me. We were both working on a patient’s wound treatment when out of the blue she asked, “Guess who I dreamt about last night? You’ll never guess!!” When I didn’t guess right, she replied, “I dreamt about you going somewhere really far away and you were going to stay there for a while. And our nurse supervisor called me asking to cover your shifts. It was a really weird dream!” I just laughed and kept quiet as we finished with the wound care. Towards the end of our shift, I finally said, “Your dream is about to become a reality. I’m leaving to Thailand in a couple of weeks and I specifically asked our nurse supervisor to give you my shifts.” She just stared at me in unbelief and exclaimed, “My dream is actually happening?! Nooo I’m going to miss you so much! Please don’t leave us!” She’s a Christian and when I explained everything, she understood why I was leaving. God once again, confirmed His will.

The paperwork for me to travel to Thailand was completed in less than a week, showing us again that it was clearly God’s will for me to go. So many emotions ran through me as we boarded our first flight. Many things occurred during our second flight and even after we arrived to Bangkok. Yet through it all, I was able to witness God’s amazing and infinite faithfulness. I was in awe at how He covers His children under His wings.

I’m humbled and beyond grateful that God has given me this opportunity to help out our missionaries here in Thailand. Like my pastor told me, “it won’t be an easy journey, but God has promised to never leave you alone”. I cling to that promise: God will always give us sufficient grace to overcome obstacles and trials in our lives; we just have to keep trusting in His perfect will. 

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