BEAUTY FROM ASHES

“You have no idea how happy I feel! Now I can go to sleep knowing that I had the chance to talk to you, son.” These were the last words I heard him say over the phone. It didn’t make sense to me how or why did my grandpa sound so excited, I mean over-the-moon-type of excited just for talking to my dad! My dad would call every week to check up on my grandpa. But this time it felt different. I could hear my grandpa’s voice on speaker and I could tell that he was so excited, extremely overjoyed, AND he started talking about God all of a sudden. My grandpa had never done that before.

The next day as I was driving with my mom, she asked if I could search the lyrics to the song: “His Eye Is On the Sparrow”. We sang it over and over again during the whole ride and we both felt such peace afterwards. Little did we know that later on that day we would receive news that my grandpa had been taken to the emergency room. Apparently, he was having shortness of breath and his blood pressure had dropped significantly. He was placed on a heart monitor and a humidifier. We prayed and prayed that God would restore back grandpa’s strength. The next day we were told that he had been diagnosed with renal failure and he had entered into a coma. Because of his age (he was 91), there was no way that he could survive any procedure done to his kidneys. So, we could only wait…on God’s mercy.

That night, my parents searched for flights to go see my grandpa. My sister and I begged our parents to let us go too, but well, the flights were too expensive. I literally felt my heart shatter as I realized that I was probably never going to see him again. But in my heart, I said: “God, Your will be done; even if I don’t understand it.” My dad managed to book a flight for the next day. We continued to pray for my grandpa’s health but mainly for his salvation; he knew that there’s a God out there but he had always said that he didn’t feel ready to commit himself to God. Driving to school the next day, I felt as if that was his last day. I tried not to dwell too much on it; I tried to be hopeful and optimistic, but as the hours dragged by, I felt it heavier in my heart. I tried to keep myself occupied throughout the day, trying not to lose hope. At the end of the day, I felt more tired than usual and I decided to go to sleep early. Since my dad’s flight was around midnight, he woke me up to say goodbye. As I lay there, hearing my dad drive off into the distance, little did I know that my grandpa had passed away two hours before that. My dad didn’t receive the news until he was at the airport and he passed it along to us the next morning.

The following day was a day of silent grief for all of us. I wanted to cry with all my heart but somehow, I was still in shock. I couldn’t believe that the same person I had heard on the phone just a few days ago, was now lifeless. It was not until three days later, I cried; and when I did, I cried like a little girl whose heart had shattered into pieces—feeling such a deep pain within. I only got to see my grandpa once in my entire life—I was six years old. I had been planning on seeing him at the end of this year, but unfortunately, God had other plans.

I believe that grandpa did receive Christ as his Savior in his last days. According to my dad, when he was going through his belongings and he found my grandpa’s Bible, grandpa had a bookmark on the Gospel of Matthew. I have faith and the hope that one day I will see my beloved grandpa again in heaven, and this time it will be forever.

I believe that God allows us to go through dark, difficult valleys so that we may encourage others with our testimony. I know that many of you have gone through a similar if not harder, experience. But as the song goes: “Why should I feel discouraged? …His eye is on the little sparrow and I know God is watching over you and me.” God has promised to take our hand and lead us through our darkest hours, our toughest days, our overwhelming situations. Let’s continue to ask God to give us the attitude of Job: “the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21). No matter what you are going through right now, always remember that you can depend on God to be those Wings who will cover you always.

#hopeagain #notdiscouraged #godslove #sadbuthopeful #notalone #walkoffaith #zerotohero